10 Tips on How to Color Like an 8-Year-Old
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Dear Grownups,
You’re pretty much doing everything all wrong. You work way too much. And then you act like you’re surprised when you stress out. So here’s what you should do about it: Get a coloring book. Open it. And then don’t be a grownup. Don’t stress about coloring in the lines. Don’t Google “how to color.” Just do it like I do and sing a happy song.
1. Use the good stuff. Don’t save your favorite crayons for something else. Just smell them, rip off the paper, and go. Or use markers. Or pencils. I don’t care. Just use something that makes your heart hum.
2. Color whatever you want. If you hate robots, don’t color robots. If you like clocks, find a coloring book filled with clocks and color that. If you love butterflies, color butterflies. If you want to get all gross and color an Outlander book, I won’t tell.
3. Treat the lines like sidewalks. You can walk on them if you want. But you can walk on the grass if you want, too. Don’t get all crazy about coloring in the lines. That’s just silly.
4. Using real colors is boring. You can use any colors you want. It’s your coloring book! If you want to make every page blue, do it. If you want to make a dog orange, do it.
5. Give your art away. When you need to make someone a present, color a picture. Getting a picture is totally the best.
6. Do the easy ones first. When you get a new book, look at the pictures. If they have lots of lines and small things to color, they’re going to be hard. Do the ones with lots of big spaces first.
7. Add words to your pictures. Write what you like and what you don’t like. Or write notes to yourself so you’ll feel happy next time you look at your book.
8. Look back at your work. Every time you sit down to color, first look at all the pictures you’ve colored before. It will make you feel so big and yellow. Like you’re a coloring book and someone colored you in!
9. Tell everyone this is YOUR book. No one else can color in it. If they try, tell your mom. That’s what my mom would say.
10. Show it off. When you finish a picture, run around the house and show everyone what you made. Don’t stop until someone gives you a hug.
Love,
Me