5 Author Rivalries That Make Reading Even More Fun

H.G. Wells vs Henry James
Henry James (The Portrait of a Lady) and H.G. Wells (The Time Machine) were best buds at the turn of the 20th century. One of their favorite activities was to debate the art of fiction, a practice that inspired many a spirited letter from each author. Wells upped the ante in 1915 when he released Boon, a full-length work of satire that painted a harsh caricature of James and his labored, word-heavy writing style. Here’s a tasty excerpt directly discussing James:
“His vast paragraphs sweat and struggle; they could not sweat and elbow and struggle more if God Himself was the processional meaning to which they sought to come.”
If that nugget didn’t make him feel the burn, perhaps a colorful metaphor involving a hippo will:
“It is a magnificent but painful hippopotamus resolved at any cost, even at the cost of its dignity, upon picking up a pea which has got into a corner of its den.”
Gotta remember it the next time I get into a freestyle rap battle.

Byron vs Keats
One of the classic rivalries in the world of literary feuds, featuring the high-minded Lord Byron squaring off against John “Son of a Stableman” Keats. Each poet disliked the other’s work on an aesthetic level, which is fair game, but Keats carried an additional burden of envy because Byron’s work was more popular (he insisted it was because Byron’s audience was a bunch of undemading aristocrats). The rivalry brewed for several years with jabs by each poet in private letters to family and friends. The most famous dig comes from Keats in a letter to his brother:
“You speak of Lord Byron and me—There is this great difference between us. He describes what he sees—I describe what I imagine—Mine is the hardest task.”
The way Keats paints Byron’s work, I half expect to see a shopping list with an elegant “Written by Lord Byron” at the bottom.

Gore Vidal vs Truman Capote
Gore Vidal had so many rivalries going he probably kept a separate rolodex to track them. One of his more entertaining squabbles was with Breakfast at Tiffany’s writer Truman Capote, who he once called a “dumpy little lowbrow.” Capote responded by saying he was sad about Gore. “Sad that he has to breathe every day.” Capote attempted to reconcile with Vidal before his death, but to no avail. In fact, after he passed Vidal said it was a “good career move.”

Mary McCarthy vs Lillian Hellman
Most author rivalries are born of literary origins. One thinks the other’s style is derivative, the other thinks the first is an untalented oaf, that sort of thing. McCarthy and Hellman made sure they had something big to fight about before starting their feud: the Moscow Trials. In the late 1930s the two authors found themselves occupying opposing ideologies. Things simmered for a solid 40 years, finally coming to a head when McCarthy made a comment about Hellman on The Dick Cavett Show:
“Every word she writes is a lie, including ‘and’ and ‘the’.”
Instead of handling it like an author and writing an eloquent “nuh-uh” retort, Hellman sued for libel. Not as entertaining for us, but a lot more practical.

Mark Twain vs Jane Austen
Mark Twain had a lot to say about a lot of things, and he was never shy about expressing it. He joined Wells’ camp in disliking Henry James’ wordiness, noting that once you put one of James’ books down, you simply can’t pick it back up. Because it’s heavy, see? Yeah, you saw.
Twain didn’t limit his witty criticisms to his contemporaries. One of my favorite author to author zingers is aimed at Jane Austen, who passed nearly two decades before Twain was born:
“Everytime I read ‘Pride and Prejudice‘ I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone.”
Austen wasn’t around to offer a riposte, but honestly, how could anyone top that?
What are your favorite literary rivalries?