50 Essential Things from Harry Potter, in Alphabetical Order

Twenty years ago today, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Philosopher’s Stone was released in the U.K.,  giving birth to an entire new generation of fantasy readers. While on the one hand, we can’t believe it has been two decades since we first met The Boy Who Lived, on the other, we also can’t remember a time every detail of J.K. Rowling’s irresistibly magical world wasn’t written on our hearts.
And we do mean every detail. Which is why, to celebrate this momentous occasion, we’ve assembled a list of 50 essential things—objects, concepts; we’re playing fast and loose with logic here—we wish we could pull out of the Wizarding World and into our own.
Arbitrary house points system
“One hundred points to Gryffindor for being good guys at ethical behavior!” vs. “Fifty points from Gryffindor because your mother didn’t love me back!”
Bat-bogey hexes
All little girls with six older brothers should have access to this convenient hex.
Beaters’ bat
Because how often in life is it considered good form to carry around a small club you can use to potentially injure Draco Malfoy? See also: Bludger
Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans
Specifically the ones that don’t taste like vomit.
Bezoar
Because you never know when you’re going to be slipped poison by one of your many enemies.
Bludger
Because how often in life is it considered good form to smash a small iron ball in the general direction of Draco Malfoy’s head? See also: Beaters’ bat
Bubotuber pus
“Pus” is a pretty gross word, we’ll grant you, even pus from a plant. But if there was really a plant with pus that stopped pimples in their tracks, every teenager would have a whole garden full of them.
The Burrow
So many wonderful Weasleys, one perfect place to stash them. (Just ignore the ghoul in the attic.)
Butterbeer
What IS it? Despite many internet recipes, we don’t think it has been cracked just yet.
“A Cauldron Full of Hot, Strong Love”
If you’ve got a “magical” evening planned, this song is your jam.
Centaurs
Kinda dour at a party, but we sure appreciated their help with Umbridge.
Chocolate frogs
They’re chocolate, and they come with collectible trading cards, and they help out with hints at important plot points! And did we mention the chocolate?
Constant threat of student death
Living in a magical world dulls your fight-or-flight responses. Gotta keep on your toes somehow.
Death-Day Parties
All the food, none of the guilt.
Divination
Wizards and witches graduate not knowing the barest thing about Shakespeare or home economics, but they sure as heck can pretend to read a tea leaf. (AHHH IT’S THE GRIM!)
Dobby’s sock
We can’t say Dobby’s character arc is the best in the series because Dobby started off amazing. Never mind the sock; let’s just say “Dobby.”
Dudley’s pig tail
THE DURSLEYS ARE PERFECTLY. NORMAL. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
Detention at Hogwarts
Detention doesn’t count unless it can kill you.
Felix felicis
We only have one hope of ever owning a Brooklyn brownstone, and it goes “Felix felicis + lottery ticket.”
Floo powder
The only form of transport in which a slip of the tongue can lead you straight to mortal peril in Knockturn Alley.
Flying Ford Anglia
Wizards have no real reason to drive, what with apparating and floo powder and all, but if you’re going to bother to do so, obviously you want to do it in the FLYING CAR.
The Forbidden Forest
Popular place for giant spider attacks, centaur uprisings, and midnight detentions for children who didn’t do their Potions homework.
Garden gnomes
The only way to fight an infestation is to hurl them like a shotput. Beats weeding by a mile.
Gilderoy Lockhart’s smile
It did win Witch Weekly’s Most Charming Smile Award, after all.
Gillyweed
Because scuba gear is heavy and webbed toes are awesome.
Golden Snitch
What we wouldn’t give to see one in action.
The Great Lake
It’s got everything: magical boats. Mermaids. Grindylows. An altruistic giant squid.
Hogwarts: A History
TBH, we haven’t read it. We’re just taking Hermione at her word on this one.
Hogwarts Library’s Restricted Section
Good thing they make it so hard* for 11-year-olds to sneak in and learn about dangerously forbidden magic!
*So, so easy.
House ghosts
Spooky mascot or it didn’t happen.
Howlers
Who wouldn’t want to be yelled at by Mrs. Weasley? (We’d even settle for Neville’s grandmother.)
Invisibility Cloak
Without this thing, Harry doesn’t make it out of the first book alive. We’d just have used it to avoid talking to people on the subway.
Kneazles
Crookshanks (yes, we know he’s half-kneazle), specifically.
The Marauder’s Map
Mssrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs left behind a legacy of both mischief and insulting Severus Snape to his face.
Molly Weasley’s Christmas sweaters jumpers
Nothing says maternal love like a lumpy itchy body sock knitted with care.
Nimbus 2000
It may have been replaced by the Nimbus 2001, and the Firebolt might be faster, but there’s nothing like your first car broom.
Owl post
Slow, poopy, utterly magical.
Parseltongue
We love a hero with a terrifying snake-talking streak.
Patronuses
They aren’t quite dæmons, but as personal mascots go, we’d take it.
Perfect acronyms
S.P.E.W., N.E.W.T.s, O.W.L.s: Rowling is our queen.
Polyjuice potion
Upside: You can look like whoever you want! Downside: To do so you have to eat some of their hair. Call it a wash.
Professor McGonagall
Hogwarts’ own Iron Lady. England may fall, but McGonagall still stands.
Rita Skeeter’s yellow journalism
Who needs friends, vetted sources, or journalistic ethics when you’ve got a Quick Quotes Quill?
Room of Requirement
Need a quiet place to study? A spot to plan a magical insurrection? Just…really need to pee? The RoR has you covered.
Skele-Gro
Yeah, it hurts, but we’re pretty sure we could figure out a way to use it to get taller, and we’re not hitting 6 feet any other way.
The Sorting Hat
Because online self-assessments can only take you so far.
Time-Turners
So magical, so useful, so conducive to plot holes.
Tom Riddle’s diary
We’re already closer to books than we are to most people. What’s wrong with having a book for a best friend? It’s a book. How evil can it be?
Veelas
We’re especially grateful to Fleur Delacour’s veela blood for its hand in making Ron scream out an invite to the Yule Ball then run away.
Wands
Any of ’em. All of ’em. Don’t care what the core is made out of. Don’t care how long they are. Don’t care if it’s the Elder Wand. We’d even take Ron’s, mended with Spello-tape. We just want a wand.
The Weasleys
Except you, Percy Weatherby. You stink.
The Weasley Clock
Does “Find Friends” one better by letting you know where they are AND if they’re in “mortal peril.”
The Whomping Willow
Because it’s nice for a tree to get some digs in sometimes.
What did we miss? Tell us in the comments!