How Do I Get My Friend to Write?
Dear Literary Lady,
I’m trying to convince my friend to write a book, because I know she would write something earth-shatteringly good. In addition to constant nagging, what are some other ways I can inspire her to try?
–D.G., Bellevue, WA
Dear D.G.,
Would that all writers had a friend like you in their corner! Your confidence in your friend’s writerly abilities is inspiring in and of itself, but you’re probably right that she needs a little more motivation to pick up a pen than constant badgering. It’s easy to nag someone to take out the trash, but it’s a little more difficult to nag a novel into existence. Also, you don’t want her book’s dedication page to say, “To D.G., who wouldn’t shut up.”
They say creativity begets creativity, so you might need to get a little creative yourself when attempting to kickstart your friend’s writing process. It won’t be an easy task, but keep your eyes on the prize (the Nobel Prize for Literature, that is) and think of how readers everywhere will thank you for all of her masterpieces in the future.
Now, consider trying the following:
1. Give your friend tons of money.
It worked for Harper Lee. Lee’s friends very generously gave her a year’s wages so she could take time off from work to write To Kill a Mockingbird. Think about it this way—if you live off ramen for long enough, you just might usher into the world the next American classic!
2. Write with her.
Okay, okay. I know most of us aren’t able to bankroll a friend’s writing career, but we do have the ability to create alongside them. It’s always easier to try something new with a good friend in tow, and you’ll be there for her very first foray into storytelling.
3. Start small.
You know there’s a masterpiece of a novel in her, but she might not know it yet. Encourage your friend to start small with short stories and articles. It could help build up her confidence enough to tackle a novel one day.
4. Carve out time for her to write.
It’s hard to sustain a creative endeavor when you have a job, a family, errands, appointments, and a million other demands on your time. One of the best things a friend can do is help someone carve out time to create. Meet up in a coffee shop and just do work together, or invite her over for takeout and dedicated writing time.
Turn your attention outward and talk about the great books you’re both reading. Discussing writers and novels might get her thinking about what stories she has to tell and what her voice might sound like. There are also many wonderfully encouraging books about writing and the writing process authored by wonderful writers—like Stephen King’s On Writing and Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird—that she may find useful and inspiring.
6.Give it a rest (for a bit).
Remember it can be pretty intimidating to start a task when people you love are waiting expectantly and have high hopes for you. It’s possible that the more you persuade her to write, the more pressure she feels. Try laying off for a bit and see if she takes a few steps forward on her own.
Remember that inspiring your friend to write a novel is like cheering someone on at a marathon. You can’t just be there for the start and the finish, you have to get creative, make fun signs, and cheer wildly at various points throughout the entire run.
Love and paperbacks,
Literary Lady