Jane Smith's Translation Dictionary of Everyday Lies, Insults, Manipulations, and Clueless Comments

Entries include …

Bitch!

1. Waa-aa-ah!

Don't be so sensitive.

1. I want to believe that my actions have no effect whatsoever on anyone.

2. Don't reveal by comparison what a dull-headed emotionally-challenged thug I am.

I don't want to argue with you.

1. I don't want to discover that my opinion on this matter is indefensible.

It was just a joke.

1. I don't want to be held responsible for it.

2. I didn't think it through.

And many, many more …

Also includes "And here's something else that would never happen to a man …"

(Jane Smith is a character In my novel, A Philosopher, a Psychologist, and an Extraterrestrial Walk into a Chocolate Bar. And she started this dictionary. I've continued it. )

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"Oooh, awesome!" C. Osborne, who read A Philosopher … Chocolate Bar and loved it