Lesbian Princesses & Friends: Risque Fairy Tale Humor

Prince: Fairy godmother, the princess I was supposed to marry is a lesbian. Can't you fix it so that she falls in love with me?
Fairy Godmother: Certainly! Abracadabra!
The Princess formerly known as Prince: This isn't what I had in mind!

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Princess: Any chance we can hook up with Cinderella?
Other Princess: Sorry. She only likes guys who have big balls.
Princess: What about her stepmother and stepsisters?
Other Princess: The last I heard they were suffering from the black plague because someone was keeping pigeons, rats and mice as pets and feeding them from the kitchen.

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Princess: At church today the preacher said that in the afterlife lesbians go down below are chained up together for all eternity and whipped.
Other Princess: What happens if we're bad?

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Princess: Father, my room was visited last night by the ghost of a beautiful woman!
The King: What did you do?
Princess: The other princess and I got sheet faced!

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Princess: What kind of flesh are my girlfriend and I allowed to eat on Fridays?
Priest: None!
Sister Agnes: Oh thank god, that's such a relief to know!
Other Princess: She was afraid we'd done something wrong.

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Prince Charming: What are you two doing with my wife?!
Snow White: See? I told you he wouldn't know.

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Prince: I know you two aren't ever going to love me, but is there any chance you might consider a three-way?
Princess: Sure, let's just check our schedule.
Other Princess: We have an opening some time between When Hell Freezes Over and When Monkeys Fly Out of My (censored). Should we pencil you in?

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Princess: Mother, do you think this dress the other princess gave me is too low cut?
Queen: That depends dear. Do you have a patch of curly hair on your chest?
Princess: Of course not!
Queen: Then yes, it's too low cut.

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Princess: I have solved all of our kingdom's tax problems.
Other Princess: How?
Princess: A funny little man just spent three nights spinning tons of straw into four huge rooms full of gold for me.
Other Princess: Why did he do that?
Princess: He said that in exchange he would return and take my first born child.
Both: HAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Princess: What should we do tonight?
Other Princess: I feel like eating out.

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Sister Agnes: Last night the two lesbian princesses found me in the garden, threw me to the ground, and made wicked love to me all night long. We must have committd a dozen different sins! Can you give me penance?
Priest: Go and eat a lemon.
Sister Agnes: Will that cleanse my soul?
Priest: No, for that you have to repent. But it will wipe that smile off your face.

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Wendy Darling: If God did not want me to be a lesbian he wouldn't have filled the ocean with topless mermaids.

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Witch: So what's it like being the godmother of two lesbian princesses? Does that mean you have to grant twice as many wishes?
Fairy Godmother: Not really. They dress each other, they give each other jewelry, they always have a date to the ball, and if one of them needs a carriage the other one picks her up in hers. Once I refused to turn all the men in the kingdom to women, give all of the women H-cup breasts, or hand out love potions they pretty much left me alone.

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Wendy Darling: If God didn't want me to be a lesbian he wouldn't have filled the ocean with topless mermaids.